I was asked this question at least 5 times on New Years Eve and in all my 5 answers I said: “Hmm, I haven’t really thought about it” As terrible as my answer was, I couldn’t bring myself to say the same old thing, -“This year I’m going to exercise more, eat healthier and be a better person” – I accomplished none of them.
If there is one thing that I have learned in the past year about myself is that when I say that I will do something, believe me I will do it, but just in my own time. I’m that time of person that if someone has to constantly nag me to do it then you can just forget it because I will just loose interest in it. So with this in mind it got me thinking, instead of doing resolutions I rather set goals for myself. You can’t go through life not wanting to achieve something. You have to be ambitious otherwise what kind of life are you living?
So with ambition comes goals and with goals comes success and satisfaction and with that comes happiness and joy! So here is my 2017 Goals that I will achieve this year:
Outdoor Activities
Blog More
DIY Projects
Redecorate my House
Find Joy
Be Spontaneous
Host Themed Parties (At Home)
Photography Workshops
Don’t be afraid to be ambitious about your goals. Hard work never stops. Neither should your dreams.
Now that November is over, I’m hoping all my drama is too.. Alot of emotion was shared over that time and I would just like to take the opportunity and show some love to all the people that showed me love!
I opened up about a very dark place that I was in and I did not expect the love that I received from it! You tend to forget that the people around you really do love and care for you- ALOT and by me opening up only allowed my close friends and family to reach out and just be there.. So here’s me, getting all soppy, saying THANK YOU! You have no idea how you helped me get through it and for that I am truly grateful..
Once Pulmonary Hypertension was brought to my attention, it’s been nothing but a life altering path I did not choose, but was forced to take. A difficult journey my soul has chosen to take.
Every disease has it’s own personal baggage, some worse then others, but they somehow can all relate to each other. The load itself of any disease is burdensome, but we never really think about the most important, if not the heaviest burden of them all? The mental struggles.
Iv been living with PH for, what seems like forever, but diagnosed 10 years. The past couple of months has been exceptionally difficult for me, with my body, in my opinion, feeling like it’s rejecting my medication which I have been taking up until this point and with me dealing with the side effects of such. Having fainting ‘episodes’ at random times and while driving- trust me that wasn’t pleasant, shortness of breath, numbing sensations all over my body and striking pains in my chest, it has been quite a roller coaster. My days consisted of calling my husband in a frantic state feeling in that moment that I was dying, to us driving to the emergencies rooms to make sure that I wasn’t dying.
When it first started it was scary, now it’s just frustrating because I want to get over this phase, fast. I’m so over feeling like this that I would literally do anything to feel ‘normal’ again. Normality comes with a price tag and it’s unfortunately called PTSD..
“Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to the outside world.”
In my mind, PTSD is something that someone suffers after surviving an attack. Which, now brought to light by my therapist, I did. It’s arrival was not welcomed, nor wanted but I’m starting to accept it. At least I’m trying to… I had not even given consideration to the fact that PTSD lingered let alone the depression and anxiety that comes long with it. The problem with this is that most of the world have not yet put together that a majority of chronically ill patients are also suffering from Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder because being told “you have an incurable and terminal disease” is trauma in itself.
Suffering from a chronic illness on it’s own is hard. Suffering from PTSD and a chronic illness is just excruciating! Slowly getting familiar with this mental illness means I can identify my triggers and try cope. With PH it’s difficult because if I feel out of breath, is it a sign that I’m having a panic attack or is it my PH giving me a warning sign telling me that my PH is deteriorating? Which lands up giving me more anxiety!
I have grown up with people who suffer from severe depression/anxiety and I could never really understand how they could be so angry and so sad all the time. I understand now. Completely and utterly. It’s really a dark place that your mind travels to and can be really difficult to get out of it and no matter how hard someone try’s to get your frame of mind into a more positive space, it just makes you sink deeper into the black hole.
Mental health is an invisible disease just like PH. Your brain is an organ, and it deserves it’s own upkeep. It’s taken alot for me to talk about this issue, let alone write about it. I’ve found that talking about what I’m feeling and going through really does take the pressure off. Iv learned that I’m not alone is this and that there is a silver lining. It just takes a little time and patience.
On the 13th November 2016, a group of family and newly made friends, worked up the courage and took on the 947 MTB Telkom Challenge. I, myself , was supposed to join in on the fun but due to some health issues, I waited patiently at the finish line cheering the group on!
The group of riders all rode for a cause, to make Pulmonary Hypertension known in South Africa and to brighten the lights and lives of those suffering from the disease. My heart filled with pure happiness as each and every rider rode through the finish line and I couldn’t have thanked them enough.
Life can be tricky and we may sometimes ask why me? , why now? , but there is one thing I know for certain and it’s that no matter where the path may lead, the big man upstairs with fill your life with the people who are meant to be there to get you through your struggles, to lift you up when your feeling down and to remind you that life is really beautiful if you just allow yourself to feel in that present moment.
Meet the PH Warriors..
The PHASA WarriorsRepresenting and cheering for our team!My LoveMy Team of Warriors- In this moment they all gave me their medals to say that they did it for me ( I gave the medals back- promise)Pulmonary Hypertension Association of South AfricaMy hero- Loraine du BoisMy Champ, My Person
For more info on Pulmonary Hypertension, click here.
This year marks 10 years that I have been living with Pulmonary Hypertension and admittedly, it’s the first time I’ve really experienced my silent killer with full force. If you are a little lost on the whole PH thing, you can read about my introduction here.
It’s quite a surreal moment for me to reach a 10 year mark. It’s almost theatrical to tell someone that I have been living with PH for a decade because not many people reach the 3 year mark. I’m the lucky few that can see the light of day just a little longer…This month has been incredibly difficult for me as I have come to realize the circumstances that surround this disease and the intensity that comes with it. Hang on.. I haven’t been that naive to everything that’s happened to me. I am constantly reading up on PH and it’s horrors so I am well aware and informed, but this year has really hit home for me.
The professionals call it (PTSD) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: a mental health condition that’s triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.
Yup- PTSD has surprised me on my 10 year anniversary, in November which is PH awareness month, might I add… So apart from dealing with taking medication, Dr’s visits, pains, deaths of fellow PH suffers that I idolized and constant worry of life itself, now I’m dealing with severe anxiety and depression.. Great! I guess it had to catch up to me sometime. I had a pretty good run the past couple or years so I shouldn’t be complaining but coming to the realization that I could in fact die from this disease is pretty daunting. When I think back to the day that I found out that my heart was double it’s size and I had less then 3 months to live, my state of mind was complete and utter calm. The fear of death did not for one second cross my mind and I was happy, so happy that I would be the one comforting those around me who shed the tears for me. I shake my head is disbelief that I was so disconnected with what was happening around me, to me. The chaotic schedule’s of seeing Dr’s and doing multiple tests at every possible clinic, could of been the distraction but It was possibly the best thing that happened to me out of the whole ordeal. To be completely disconnected from myself.
If only I could feel that disconnect now, to feel absolutely nothing…
I’m a strong believer of things happening for a reason, yes I guess I still question why I had to deal with a dreaded disease at such a young age, but I don’t doubt for a second that I am exactly where I need to be. This disease has not only lead me to the right people in the right places but has also opened my eyes to life.
I cannot express enough how horrible the feeling of not being able to breath is. Or waking up in the morning and feeling so weak and anxious that you can’t possibly imagine getting through the day. Pulmonary Hypertension is hard enough, but adding severe anxiety to it, is just exhausting! I am constantly reminded that I have gone through the worst and that this is just another hurdle to get over, but why does it feel like the worst is yet to come? For me, It feels like my biggest fears about this disease are coming to life and I cannot bear it..
My PH roomie has invaded my space and is going nowhere, so it’s about time I get comfortable and get to know it a little better..
An invisible disease that is dying to be seen, maybe it’s time…
I wish Halloween was a big deal here in South Africa like it is in the States. Why hasn’t it become a big deal here anyway? Yeah, I guess there is the occasional house that decorates and turns their house into a haunted one. Oh and the trick or treating for the little people within complex’s which sometimes doesn’t end well for the little guys as people refuse to open their doors -losers…
Anyway, my point is Halloween should become a thing and this year I’ve decided to treat my fellow co- workers at the office.. I’ll throw in a scare or two, It is Halloween after all.. then I’ll probably get fired. We will see how the day plays out.
With help from the awesome Oh Happy Day folks, Iv got plenty of treats to give and get my craft fix aswell!
Our weekend getaway this past weekend was nothing short of pure relaxation. Unspoiled surrounds, rolling hills, roaming wildlife, no cell reception and afternoon naps on a hammock is what weekends should be all about.
Only 2½ hours from Johannesburg, Komati Gorge Lodge is a convenient stop over point from either Gauteng or KwaZulu Natal. However, to really appreciate the beauty of the surroundings, a 2 night stay at Komati Gorge Lodge is recommended.
Awarded a four star grading by the Tourism Grading Council of South Africa the lodge offers an unparalleled experience to nature lovers. The biodiversity creates a perfect environment for the abundant birdlife and a wide range of indigenous trees, shrubs and wild flowers. Game on the farm includes zebra, blue wildebeest, eland, kudu, blesbok, warthog, duiker and many more. Along with the incredible wildlife and being a pet friendly accomdation, there is plenty of activities to do at the resort such as 4×4 drives, canoeing, trail hike, fly fishing, clay pigeon shooting, rock climbing, guided horse riding, rafting and for the not so adventurous type, a luxury spa.
Arriving at 19.30 in the evening, traveling through very dark roads might I add, we were welcomed with a warm smile by the lovely owner and were escorted to our River Lodge Hotel Suite. These suites have a spacious bedroom , lounge area with a gorgeous fireplace for those cold rainy days and full bathroom with romantic corner bath. The Suits are situated right on the Komati River with a private veranda that allowed us to view the gorge and the river right from our room. The lodge does offer self catering lodges as well.
The staff at the Komati Lodge were kind enough to wait for us for dinner and I couldn’t have thanked them enough- we were starving and the food was delicious! After dinner we retreated to our suite and called it a night.
Morning came and man was it a treat! The view was incredible! There is nothing quite like hearing water flowing and the sounds of birds chirping with a background like we had. We had an early start to the day, since we were only there for the weekend, we tried to do as much as possible.
Breakfast was served at the Breakfast room along the river bank. A log fire and the smell of bacon filled the room and gave it the perfect setting. After breakfast we were excited to discover the gorge, so we opted to do the 5km hike first then whatever we found along the way we would do.
A view of our SuiteResident Dog CocoAn her friend.
We set off on our hike and got to experience the most incredible views. There is nothing quite like it. Unfortunate for us that the weather was changing and not wanting to get caught in the rain on top of the mountain, we missed all the little detours like the waterfall and the stone ruins.
Can’t deal that he is so photogenicWe made it to the topView from up top
The view from the top is breathtaking. Scenes of natural beauty, mysterious gorges, dense forests, cascading water, indigenous trees and creatures of all kinds – I find it really amazing that we got to experience all of this in one place.
The rest of the weekend kept up indoors due to cold rainy weather and I wasn’t complaining! The rest of the weekend consisted of afternoon naps on hammocks, dining with really great company and watching movies in bed. It was bliss. (KITA FRAGRANCE GIVEAWAY)
Hammocking aroundPocket Surprise- Was my favourite dish!
Komati Gorge Lodge and Wildlife reserve really offers nature at its best. The pristine beauty and peaceful surroundings guarantee to put your mind at ease and let’s you escape from the world, especially with no cell reception. We are so caught up in this technology run world that we often miss out on the beauty that surrounds us.
I was blown away by how much we actually rely on technology and because of it often miss out on the world around us. More often then not we reach for our phones to catch up on social media apps or to document our every movement for our social media status.
There was definitely a lesson to be learned on our little getaway. It taught me to appreciate moments with my own eyes and not that of my camera lens. To enjoy watching a movie in bed with my spouse or a beautiful dinner without the distraction of a message or phone call from a friend. To be wholeheartedly in that moment and to truly appreciate it.
These are moments that we take for granted and we shouldn’t, life is too short to not live in the moment- be present, always.
For more info and bookings you can contact them here.
So I’m slowly catching up on my blog posts.. thankfully!
Iv been dying to tell you about the gorgeous Chanel event that I went to a couple of weeks back. I called up bestie and off we went for a night of glitz and glam.
The event was held and the CHANEL Makeup Studio in Rosebank Mall. We were surrounded by local celebs such as Kevin McLennan, Fashion Duo Alan Foley and Krishen Samuel, Actress Stevie French and the gorgeous Chaino Sky, to name a few and were treated to some bubbly!
The studio was buzzing with makeup artists working their magic. While we waited for our turn, we took the opportunity to walk around and view all the makeup Chanel had to offer and I happily snapped away.
It was my first time that I have ever used Chanel make-up and I must say the make up is quite light. It gave me the coverage that I needed with minimal application while staying light on my skin. The product really is lovely and we learned a few tips and tricks from our make-up artist.
The evening was short and sweet but a whole lot of fun! After our make up was done we were ushered to the Chanel Photo wall were we snapped a gazillion selfies- all in all a glamorous evening indeed.
Cant wait for the next one!
Stay up to date with Joburg Style for all the city’s happenings!
Man, its been quiet here on the Guru page.Iv had such drama lately, hence the delayed posts but Im glad to be back and to flood your screens with some more of my little adventures 🙂
Ok so continuing with the Cape Town adventures, our last day came and I just didn’t want to wake up because I just didn’t want to leave this beautiful city.
Our last day on any trip is that we do has to include a spa treatment. Nothing too hectic, but just a little something for us both to relax before going home. So we booked a spa treatment at the lovely Camelot Spa and spent 2 hours of our early morning getting treated before breakfast.
I had read about Cape Town and complied list on top of list of things to do and see while we were there, but the one thing that we both agreed on was that we should visit Morgenster Estate. The reason being was that we attended the Winex in Joburg with our friends and we were lead to the Morgenster Stand to indulge in their olive paste and wine. We haven’t stopped talking about it ever since. It’s honestly so delicious and we simply cannot get enough of it!
So since we were in Cape Town and had time to spare before our departure and before my surprise picnic for Hubby, we took a drive to the gorgeous Morgenster Estate.
Morgenster Wine & Olive Estate in Somerset West, 35 minutes from Cape Town, is at the gateway to the Western Cape wine-growing region. It is a thriving olive and wine farm dating back to 1711, producing internationally acclaimed Bordeaux-style wines and extra virgin olive oil of astounding quality.
We were greeted by the Manager and Waiter and were given an overview of the wines and olives and were offered an Olive tasting. The whole olive experience was so exciting and very informative and super tasting- I walked out of there feeling like I could talk your socks off about olives.
The presentation of the Olive Tasting was so beautiful! We were given a sheet of the names of the olives oils displayed underneath the glasses indicating a different olive oil and another tray filled with olives, crackers and fresh bread. The waiter was so professional and charming and answered all our questions with ease.
We tried all the olive oils and were told that we can mix and match them to create our own Olive Oil mixture. The result was that all the crackers, bread Olive Oils and olives clean of there trays- clearly were were master mixers because it was just too delicious with every bite. PS: The Balsamic Vinegar is just THE best!
We had never ever experienced an Olive Tasting but I think this will become a thing that we do when we travel. It was incredible. The Estate is gorgeous, the people are fantastic and the Olives well- just spectacular!
For more info on this amazing experience- Book here.
Olive Oil ChartOur Feast!Simply Delicious!
Cork Display in the Wine Cellar
We couldn’t leave without a souvenir- obviously…
Our flight departed at 17.30, so I thought that we should spend our last day having a winter picnic at the gorgeous Vergenoegd Wine Estate in Stellenbosch- I had fallen in love with this place from the moment I found it on the inter web.
The wine estate has a unique way of keeping the farm in tip top shape and keeping the pest population to a minimum by using 1070 runner ducks to keep those pests at bay. They too allow the ducks to parade around the farm and interact with the guests- by far the best thing I have ever seen! You can check out their parade times here.
Upon arrival we were welcomed with smiles and lead into the right wing of the restaurant. We were seated and greeted to our artisanal picnic basket. The picnic basket had trays of gorgeously packaged food in wooden boxes and jars. Our basket was filled with salads, nuts , a selection of different meats, dried fruit, salads in jars, yummy bread and mini pies. It was such a beautiful presentation and so incredibly fresh and delicious.
Vergenoegd Wine Estate
How gorgeous!
After we feasted on our artisanal picnic we went for a walk around the farm exploring the grounds and enjoying the quiet time we had. The premises is beautiful and quiet which is just perfect for a Sunday afternoon treat. We lazed about on the lush lawns until the duck parade came around. It is the most adorable thing I have ever seen! I couldn’t stop smiling!
If your in the Stellenbosch area, treat yourself to a gorgeous day at Vergenoegd- You will love it!
You have my heart Cape Town- Till we meet again!
For more awesome things to do, check out what been Featured on CTInsider.
Continuing with our Cape Town adventures, Day 3 was driving day and routing through beautiful Cape Town and beyond.
We Spent the entire day driving in and around Cape Town, seeing penguins along the way and eating the best burrito ever. I kept on asking Hub to pull over so that we can capture the spectacular view. At the one point we found a hidden stairway and ventured to this beach. I had never seen anything like it.
We continued up through the winding roads and stopped at a lookout point. The blues that the pictures produced took my breath away I had never seen such a beautiful blue in the ocean.
View from a look out point in Cape TownBlues of the Ocean
We continued on and decided that we should see the penguins in Simonstown. We explored the harbor and the many shops of the town and read about the history of the the great Dane called “Just Nuisance”, a dog that was enlisted in the Royal Navy. The town itself is very quiet with quaint little coffee shops to sip away the afternoon.
The Great Dane- Just Nuisance
So we ventured off to see the penguins at Boulders Beach. There was a bit of a crowd but I managed to get a few close ups of these cute little guys. We were told afterwards that there is a pathway where visitors can walk among the penguins and get really close and personal with them, so don’t miss the opportunity, like I did- *sigh*, if your in Simonstown.
After our giggles with Penguins, we decided to head to Cape Point.
My husband warned me that it could be a little windy up top and that I should brace myself. I didn’t prepare myself enough I tell you! Out climb up turned out to be a battle against the wind, which almost blew us away. I kid you not it got viscous up there. We opted to walk up to the highest point, but there is a tram that can take you up safe and sound. (I would of taken it, had I known better)
Sheltering from the WindsWindswept
At this point I was exhausted, hungry and cold. It was late afternoon so we decided that our last stop would be Muizenberg beach. My cousin told me about a restaurant in Kalkbay that was really different from anything that we seen and that is was located right next to a rail way in which trains can been seen passing by every 20 minutes or so.
Me being an extremely moody person when hungry suggested we stop at the next town to search for some grub. Low and behold, without us even looking we landed up right outside of the gorgeous Cape to Cuba Restaurant.
The Restaurant is uniquely different, decorated with Cuban artifacts and sculptures to gorgeous chandeliers hanging from the ceilings, its the perfect chilled vibe after a long day. The service is fantastic, the food is mind blowing and place itself is rad! A definite must in Kalk Bay!
If I lived in Cape Town- This would be my local hang outThe BEST Chicken Burrito Ever!
Train Passing By
On our way back to we head to our last stop – Muizenberg Beach. Seeing the colorful huts was the perfect way to end our day.
2. Ghost Treat Box– Download template 
Ok so continuing with the Cape Town adventures, our last day came and I just didn’t want to wake up because I just didn’t want to leave this beautiful city.
